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20080726
20080725
Another Bat'toon
Bob Kane's infamous superhero, Batman is making yet another return to television and embarking on yet another animated incarnation with Batman: The Brave and The Bold, a new cartoon series that will begin airing on the Cartoon Network in March 2009. This new series takes after the DC Comics ...Brave and ...Bold series putting Batman at the forefront and pairing him with other classic DC heroes to fight various DC nemesis each week.Click here for interview with series creators, video, photos, and more!
Friday Treats!
I did it last week and nothing happened so let's try it again this week... this is mostly for anyone reading this in Canada, as these, and almost all other cable shows, don't air in Canada at the same time they premiere in the United States, like everything on network television does. These new seasons of Project Runway and My Life on the D-List could possibly not end up airing here in Canada until this winter! It sucks... so here, stay up to date, everyone, until it gets taken down.
Have a good weekend; go see The X-Files!
Have a good weekend; go see The X-Files!
(Fag/Hanger On/)Brother Don't Preach
So basically I can't stop reading Christopher Ciccone's memoirs, Life With My Sister, Madonna; it's juicy as hell and in a way that I can't really articulate you, just get the feeling that, albeit through biased eyes, most of what he claims in the book is true. He doesn't make terribly outrageous accusations about his sister (although he does about some other Hollywood heavy hitters of yesteryear; Cher, Seymour Stein, Lauren Hutton) he just presents her reign of our culture over the past 25 years through a different perspective; one from an intimate, private side (as private as the world's most public person's life could be); one from a side that hasn't spun the stories, the mythology over the years in Madonna's favor, in fact nobodies favor, which leads to believe most of these stories.
However, that also doesn't mean that I don't also think Christopher is jealous, jaded, spiteful, resentful, and immature. By all means, I don't think he's a bad person, I just think, like Madonna, he too has himself and his best interests first, which is very apparent in the book, and he too wants attention, validation, and praise as he takes every other breath in the book to comment on his past professional "accomplishments"; the books reads more like a glorified resume with sidebar notes scribbled in containing Madonna gossip; big, interesting sidebars, but sidebars nonetheless.
Irregardless he was on the best late-night talk show on television at the moment, my idol, Chelsea Handler's Chelsea Lately (every night on E!) and he was extra narcissistic; Chelsea keeps him in his place, though!
Still, if you really like Madonna, not just her music but are in some way obsessed with her as a person, the book is the best trashy, beach book you'll find all summer!
Roger Ebert
* * * 1/2 (out of 4)"But what they're up to is so creepy, and the snow-covered Virginia landscapes so haunting, and the wrong-headedness of Scully so frustrating, and the FBI bureaucracy so stupid, and Mulder so brave, that the movie works like thrillers used to work, before they were required to contain villains the size of buildings." (Click here to read full review.)
-Roger Ebert, The Chicago-Sun Times
Source
The Ro 2.0 Show
So take this with a grain of salt but reports are starting to reach a fever pitch that Rosie O'Donnell has resumed negotiations with NBC for her own television show. Since O'Donnell left The View she's had her eye on primetime television, something even her harshest critics have at one time or another said would be the most appropriate platform for the comedienne. As you remember Rosie and NBC were in negotiations shortly after she left The View; that project would've aired on MSNBC, NBC's news cable outlet, and I would assume would've been more like Larry King or Anderson Cooper's shows; a desk, guest panel members, the ability for viewers to call in- basically Hot Topic with Rosie. However when negotiation details were leaked before the deal was finalized NBC reportedly freaked out and pulled at the last minute.
This new program is reportedly set to run on NBC primetime and would be a weekly, primetime variety show.
Now, while I am a massive Rosie supporter and desperately wish she would get back to television as soon as possible, no matter what the incarnation, I just fear that if Rosie's return to television is done so with this variety show concept it won't last past Christmas. Now, while I truly believe Rosie O'Donnell has an aduience base to sustain a new, solo show, I think that would only work on cable, like MSNBC, and I think it would only work if it were a current events program where Rosie is free to speak on politics, news and do so with an eclectic panel of guest commentators. This is Rosie 2.0; the Rosie that exsists in this post-Rosie O'Donnell Show , post 9/11 world is not the same, family-frienly, Kids R' Punny Rosie who rules daytime talk for 5 years; we now want the adult, outspoken, politically accute, emotionally charged crusader who could say absolutely anything about anyone at anytime.
I just feel like if we get this variety show concept it's going to fall into cheesedom, like too many things Rosie tries to do that somehow seem to simultaneously be fufilling a childhood fantasty of hers, and won't last. Perhaps if this show goes towards a more edgy, sketch-show for adults concept; kind of like Saturday Night Live, but hosted by Rosie every week with special musical guests, I think that would work spendidly. But somehow, somehow I feel like we're going to get famiy friendly Rosie, and I somehow feel musical number attempts in Bob Mackie suits are just around the corner.
Source
20080724
No More Get Down Underground
It's the end of an era as the sad (and shocking) news breaks that another legendary nightclub is biting dust; London'sG-A-Y, which has seen pop and dance music royalty play gigs atop it's speakers, is closing up shop! CLICK HERE TO READ.Source
20080723
XXX = $$$?
It appears that this generations reign of excess and luxury may be slipping after all when hobbies that have manifested themselves, overtime, into commercial institutions like the porn industry can't even maintain during this recession. SEX CAN'T EVEN SURVIVE THE RECESSION! SEX!
SEX, CHER, AND COCKROACHES CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING... well, that was until the Bush Years.
GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS!!
Source
State of the Union
It's really grey and chilly in Vancouver today; the breeze feels like Autumn, my favorite season. I'm totally knockin today out 'cause it feels like October!
Knock today out with Tracey. Here's one of the most talented women in the world...
Source
Knock today out with Tracey. Here's one of the most talented women in the world...
Source
Remembering Estelle
Im rememberance of Estelle Getty's passing yesterday I'm posting the pilot episode of the little-seen Golden Girls spin-off, The Golden Palace. It aired for one season after Bea Arthur left the series. The story follows Blanche, Rose and Getty's infamous Sophia moving to Miami after purchasing a hotel together. Click and follow to YouTube, you'll easily find all 24 episode of the series.
Also take note, Lifetime will also be honoring Estelle this weekend with a GG marathon.
Also take note, Lifetime will also be honoring Estelle this weekend with a GG marathon.
As I Type...
Sherri Shepherd is back peddling like a motherfucker on The View about her wacky comments in that black women's Christian magazine. I can hear her sitting down with Bill Geddie and a writer and going over every word coming out of her mouth, word for word.
L.A. To Ban Plastic Bags, 2010
So it's official, the city of Los Angeles will begin banning plastic bags on July 1, 2010 from retail stores. Similar regulations have been set forth in San Fransisco and I believe are being discussed for one of my homes, the city of Vancouver, as well.
My partner and I made the switch to canvas bags a few months ago; we take one with us everywhere, just in case and it's good to leave some in the car. And I've found retailers, at least in Vancouver, to very cordial and appreciative when you present your non-plastic bag.
I think it's time we all made the switch, because that alone is such a simple, simple thing to do that would make such a vast impact.
Source 1, 2.
20080722
"Lo's Just Always Super Bitchy; That's Just How She Is."
I'm so over this fucking show; I so want to be over this fucking show.
But they make it so hard with their immaculate trailers; oh, the editing! Stop sucking me in!
Scan-da-lous!
But they make it so hard with their immaculate trailers; oh, the editing! Stop sucking me in!
Scan-da-lous!
"They Could Lay Hands On Barbara Walters And Get Her Saved!"
RING-A-DING-DING-DONG!
Warning! Warning!
THIS IS THE DIS SOME CRAZY FUCKIN' BULLSHIT ALERT!
I knew I didn't like this dumb bitch for a reason; she insane!
Sherri Shepherd, the worst ...View co-host in history, went rambling away to some magazine for "...today's black Christian woman"; so basically, bitches I'm tryin' to get the fuck away from... not my kind of people.
"Before I converted to Christianity, I was a Jehovah's Witness. In 1993, my mother was dying from diabetic complications. My sister was heavy into drugs, and we would have to go and get her from crack houses. I was in a very physically abusive relationship. I was sleeping with a lot of guys and had more abortions than I would like to count. I had very low self-esteem and just wanted to die. I felt if someone killed me, it wouldn't even make a difference. But God showed me that it would make a difference...
Oh sometimes I say, 'Lord, Juanita Bynum or Joyce Myers would be so good at this table. They could lay hands on Barbara Walters and get her saved. I ask the Lord, 'Why am I here?' I have to trust God when He says, 'Because I said so.'"
If you could see my facial expression right now it would surely (hopefully) sum up perfectly that way you feel right about now; what the fuck!
And who the hell, other than Sherri Shepherd, reads Precious Times, The magazine for today's black, Christian woman. Matter of fact, Sherri fucking Shepherd don't read that magazine for shit!
I need to start my own magazine for black women, yeah, that's what I oughta do! None of this self-hating, occult-like, brain-washing Christain magazines. I know exactly what'll look like...
Source 1, 2.
Britney Goes Up; Madonna Goes Down
Just as Britney Spears seems to actually be making her way towards career recovery, does Madonna, Queen of it all, appear to possibly be slipping.
And with good reason; British paper The Sun is reporting that the past month of intense negative press, and the possible truths of it's unsubstantiated claims, appear to have taken their toll on the Material Girl emotionally, mentally and physically; she's reportedly just been diagnosed with anemia.
That, and many other titillating claims, after the cut.
Source
Our Planet: WTF?
Hundreds of baby penguins swept from the icy shores of Antarctica and Patagonia are washing up dead on Rio de Janeiro's tropical beaches, rescuers and penguin experts said Friday.
More than 400 penguins, most of them young, have been found dead on the beaches of Rio de Janeiro state over the past two months, according to Eduardo Pimenta, superintendent for the state coastal protection and environment agency in the resort city of Cabo Frio.
While it is common here to find some penguins — both dead and alive — swept by strong ocean currents from the Strait of Magellan, Pimenta said there have been more this year than at any time in recent memory.
READ FULL STORY
The Associate Press
Time To Lock Up Your Pick-Up!
Drivers in the South have been hit hardest by soaring U.S. gasoline costs and state governments there should take more steps to help cut fuel consumption, said a report released on Tuesday.
Average motorists in Mississippi spent nearly 8 percent of their incomes on gasoline in 2007 and drivers in South Carolina and Georgia spent more than 7 percent, according to the report released on Tuesday by environmental group the Natural Resources Defense Council.
READ FULL STORY
-Reuters
Source
Thank You For Being A Friend
The iconic star of stage and screen Estelle Getty, best known and loved for her Emmy-winning protrayl of Sophia Petrillo on The Golden Girls and then The Golden Palace has passed away at her home. She was 84 years old.
Getty had been very ill for years, suffering from Lewy Body dementia; as a result Getty had been inactive and out of the public eye for quite some time, and missed The Golden Girls reunion back in 2003.
Chopstick Lickin' Good
What the hell is going on with KFC?! Now, granted we're all pretty much aware of the fact the Kentucky Fried Chicken has never really been a company of high values or strong morals, but their newest AD campaign (at least in Canada, I haven't seen these commercials in the US yet) is absurd!
They're for KFC's new "Asian inspired menu" which basically means they've just taken a handful of simple, preexsisting menu items, throw in a fortune cookie, raise the price by $1.50 and slap the word Asian to the title! KFC thinks that this suddenly makes their menu Asian?!
I'm offended by this! Why aren't any Asians?!
So the Crispy Chicken Wrap suddenly becomes the Asian Crispy Chicken Wrap? Oooh!
Listen, unless that extra $1.50 includes a garauntee that my wrap will be exclusively prepared by KFC employees with the last names Wong, Ho, or Cho then that fortuen cookie isn't gonna fucking cut it.
Best. Show. Ever.
I'm a little annoyed because I fear that this new television series, on Logo (the American LGBT cable station) seems like something I would've written a few years down the road, but hell, as long as we've got a comedy about white trash queers in Texas, well hell, that's a winner of a show to me!
And when you've got a cast as stellar as this; RUE MCCLANAHAN (Blanche from The Golden Girls) OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN, MARAGERT CHO, CAROLINE RHEA, LESLIE JORDAN (from Will & Grace) and the hysterical BETH GRANT (from Donnie Darko) you can't go wrong!
Source
And when you've got a cast as stellar as this; RUE MCCLANAHAN (Blanche from The Golden Girls) OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN, MARAGERT CHO, CAROLINE RHEA, LESLIE JORDAN (from Will & Grace) and the hysterical BETH GRANT (from Donnie Darko) you can't go wrong!
Source
20080721
Obsession
Thank God The View was a special, historic episode because it was an entire episode of Hot Topics (my favorite!) and, for some odd reason I really can't seem to figure out,and apparently neither could any of the ladies, half the commercial time was cut in half! They didn't take a commercial break, I think, until almost a full 30 minutes into the broadcast, and even then it was a 30-second break, as Whoopi pre-warned so viewers didn't leave the room. Traditional commercial breaks came in the second half-hour but I think only two!
Because the ladies had all that extra time to cluck I was made aware of my newest obsession; a website that's apparently been around, and popular, for a few years but one I was completely oblivious too.
CLICK HERE!
What's Your Scene Baby, We Just Gotta Know
Are you a chick that fell in from outer space
Or are you real with your tender warm and grace...
Yeah, whose baby are you?
Awesome, much?
Or are you real with your tender warm and grace...
Yeah, whose baby are you?
Awesome, much?
Heidi's Out! SJP's In! Bravo!
Well I had absolutly gotten no wind of this but apparently, who cares that Project Runway abandoned ship at Bravo for Lifetime; Bravo has got a brand new silver bullet and she has three names- SARAH JESSICA PARKER!
That's right, Bravo has just gone into a development deal (aka not officially going to be on TV yet) with Sarah Jessica Parker and her production company for what has been described as a Project Runway-esque reality competition show, but with aspiring visual artists competing in competitions as varied as sculpting, painting, and sketching. The artists will then by judged by SJP and her fellow panel members as hopeful contetants get eliminated leading up to an coveted, high-profile gallery showing of their work.
It doesn't have a name yet, but it's being produced by the production company that origianlly produced Project Runway, and who will no longer once it moves to Lifetime.
I think this sounds freaking phenomenal and I personally can't wait. I mean, come on, it's Sarah Jessica Parker for goodness sake! Who isn't going to watch this?!
Back on the Case (And Lookin' Delicious!)
Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny are in the midst of a heated conversation.
Fortunately they're standing before a camera, reprising their roles as FBI special agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder for "The X-Files: I Want to Believe." Friday's release is a sequel to "The X-Files: Fight the Future" (1998), itself an offshoot of the landmark sci-fi/horror series "The X-Files" (1993-2002), which transformed Anderson and Duchovny into stars.
Anderson and Duchovny created onscreen magic, not to mention sexual tension. Mulder believed in aliens and government conspiracies, Scully was the skeptic, and "shippers" -- as the series' fans were called -- knew they belonged in each other's arms. Despite the chemistry, however, Anderson and Duchovny had a notoriously prickly offscreen relationship.
On set during a break from filming "I Want to Believe" in Vancouver, B.C., Anderson says this time around she and Duchovny are getting on fine. Absence made the heart grow fonder, the hours aren't as endless nor as draining, and they don't have yet another episode lurking over their shoulders.
"It's great, and it was great then too," Anderson says, looking thoroughly Scully-esque clad in black and with her hair dyed red. "It's just like a sibling relationship, you know?
"There was always this natural love-hate (with Duchovny)," she says. " 'Hate' is too big a word, but you know what I mean. There was always something, whether it was us coming together or us keeping our distance. Whatever it is, it's just a natural relationship, in the history, over a period of time.
"I think that now we've grown up and we're older, and we're more appreciative of the relationship, period, and the unique experience that we had together," Anderson says. "And we have an opportunity to continue that and foster it. We've always loved each other and we're always going to be at battle sometimes."
Chris Carter, series creator and "I Want to Believe" writer/producer/director, has cloaked the film's plot in secrecy, and Anderson refuses to spoil anything.
All that's known is that, dealing with a difficult case, Scully seeks the help of an embittered and ostracized Mulder, a request that sets in motion a stand-alone frightfest that involves a missing agent, a psychic (Billy Connolly), a manhunt and probably a few monsters lurking in the night.
Anderson hastens to add that "I Want to Believe" is also very much about Scully and Mulder.
On the series Scully started out as a deeply religious skeptic about the paranormal. By the end, however, after almost a decade of encounters with extraterrestrials, supernatural creatures and evil of all shapes and sizes, she had been converted into something of a believer. The film, Anderson acknowledges, revisits those themes.
"I think we have to," she says. "That's part of one of the big premises of the film, the relationship, and what makes the relationship work is this constant fight to be right in some way.
"I think, no matter what film or what episode, you have to maintain an element of that to make it interesting.
"This isn't a love story," the actress says. "It can be, and there are elements of that in the intimacy of the relationship, but that can't be in the forefront.
"What's in the forefront is these two people's minds and their passions, and naturally they're going to swing in the direction they're built for. That's going to cause tension between them and issues."
Anderson has kept busy since "The X-Files" ended six years ago.
On the personal front, she lives in London and is pregnant with her third child, her second with partner Mark Griffiths.
Professionally, Anderson appeared in the British miniseries "Bleak House" (2005) and the films "Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story" (2005) and "The Last King of Scotland" (2006), as well as the upcoming comedies "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People" and "Boogie Woogie." She hosts "Masterpiece" on PBS and is shooting "The Smell of Apples," a drama about apartheid in 1970s South Africa.
The actress smiles when asked if, after surviving nine years of "The X-Files," she would ever consider starring in another weekly American television show.
"I'll never say 'never' because things change so much over time," Anderson says. "But it would have to be something pretty extraordinary (for me) to take that kind of time and move back to Los Angeles, where it's likely to be shot.
"But, you know, I'm 40 this year and I hope to still be working when I'm 60. So maybe, as a 60-year-old, I'll come back and do a comedy for NBC or something."
Anderson, whose birthday is Aug. 9, drops "40" matter-of-factly. More than a few actresses refuse to utter the word, of course, fearing it like a human-worm mutant or some other "X-Files" beastie.
"No, I'm cool with that," she says, laughing. "I'm actually looking forward to it. I saw this woman a few weeks ago with silver-white hair. I was in an airport, and I got filled with this sense of calm.
"I'm really enjoying the degree of acceptance that comes with just not taking things so seriously, (being) more able to let things go, not being so self-obsessed and concerned about my thighs, all that kind of crap, you know?
"It's just, 'I'm 40, I think I can have cellulite,' " Anderson says. "(But) talk to me in a couple of years, when there's a shot of me on a beach!"
-Ian Spelling (The New York Times)
"I Think It's Kinda Crazy A Woman Is Running..."
Fucking tool!
"You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?"
—Brooke Hogan
DO NOT FALL FOR SCARE TACTICS!
JOHN MCCAIN IS A FUCKING MORON
JOHN MCCAIN IS THE FUKING ANTI-CHRIST
JOHN MCCAIN IS A LIAR
JOHN MCCAIN IS A REPUBLICAN (ENOUGH SAID)
You would NOT believe the amazing bullett o' bullshit that is coming down the tube on television in the form of a PSA on behalf of John McCain. You won't believe this but MCCAIN IS TRYING TO MAKE IT APPEAR THAT OBAMA IS THE CAUSE OF RISING GAS PRICES!
What. The. Fuck.
This is the most absurd and blatant act of misinformation I have ever experienced in an election. To even give the illusion that Obama is in any way directly related to the rise in gas prices is inappropraite and grossly incorrect. It's a blatant scare tactic. Some people feel that gas prices will never drop until we allow drilling in America, something that Brack is opposed too, as are many, many Americans who know it's a last ditch effort by the Bush administration to FUCK THIS COUNTRY INTO THE GROUND! But to release a commercial that alludes to the fact that Obama is solely responsible...
ARE ANY AMERICANS ACTUALLY DUMB ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THIS?!
Well, yes, there are many. I mean, Bush got elected... twice, so yes, there apparently are many.
AMERICANS! DO NOT FALL FOR THIS!
Republican presidential candidate John McCain is launching a new television ad that blames Democratic rival Barack Obama for rising gasoline prices.
The ad, airing on national cable and in 11 battleground states, argues that the cost of fuel is rising because of opposition to oil drilling in the United States.
The announcer in the ad says, "Gas prices — $4, $5, no end in sight, because some in Washington are still saying no to drilling in America. No to independence from foreign oil. Who can you thank for rising prices at the pump?"
A photograph of Obama appears on the stage as a voiceover of a crowd chants: "Obama, Obama, Obama!"
Source
JOHN MCCAIN IS THE FUKING ANTI-CHRIST
JOHN MCCAIN IS A LIAR
JOHN MCCAIN IS A REPUBLICAN (ENOUGH SAID)
You would NOT believe the amazing bullett o' bullshit that is coming down the tube on television in the form of a PSA on behalf of John McCain. You won't believe this but MCCAIN IS TRYING TO MAKE IT APPEAR THAT OBAMA IS THE CAUSE OF RISING GAS PRICES!
What. The. Fuck.
This is the most absurd and blatant act of misinformation I have ever experienced in an election. To even give the illusion that Obama is in any way directly related to the rise in gas prices is inappropraite and grossly incorrect. It's a blatant scare tactic. Some people feel that gas prices will never drop until we allow drilling in America, something that Brack is opposed too, as are many, many Americans who know it's a last ditch effort by the Bush administration to FUCK THIS COUNTRY INTO THE GROUND! But to release a commercial that alludes to the fact that Obama is solely responsible...
ARE ANY AMERICANS ACTUALLY DUMB ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THIS?!
Well, yes, there are many. I mean, Bush got elected... twice, so yes, there apparently are many.
AMERICANS! DO NOT FALL FOR THIS!
Republican presidential candidate John McCain is launching a new television ad that blames Democratic rival Barack Obama for rising gasoline prices.
The ad, airing on national cable and in 11 battleground states, argues that the cost of fuel is rising because of opposition to oil drilling in the United States.
The announcer in the ad says, "Gas prices — $4, $5, no end in sight, because some in Washington are still saying no to drilling in America. No to independence from foreign oil. Who can you thank for rising prices at the pump?"
A photograph of Obama appears on the stage as a voiceover of a crowd chants: "Obama, Obama, Obama!"
Source
The FCC Can't Let Me Be...
A federal appeals court on Monday threw out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS Corp. for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson's breast-baring "wardrobe malfunction."
The three-judge panel of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Federal Communications Commission "acted arbitrarily and capriciously" in issuing the fine for the fleeting image of nudity...
...The court found that the FCC deviated from its nearly 30-year practice of fining indecent broadcast programming only when it was so "pervasive as to amount to 'shock treatment' for the audience."
"Like any agency, the FCC may change its policies without judicial second-guessing," the court said. "But it cannot change a well-established course of action without supplying notice of and a reasoned explanation for its policy departure."
The 3rd Circuit judges — Chief Judge Anthony J. Scirica, Judge Marjorie O. Rendell and Judge Julio M. Fuentes — also ruled that the FCC deviated from its long-held approach of applying identical standards to words and images when reviewing complaints of indecency.
"The Commission's determination that CBS's broadcast of a nine-sixteenths of one second glimpse of a bare female breast was actionably indecent evidenced the agency's departure from its prior policy," the court found. "Its orders constituted the announcement of a policy change — that fleeting images would no longer be excluded from the scope of actionable indecency."
In a statement Monday, CBS said it hoped the decision "will lead the FCC to return to the policy of restrained indecency enforcement it followed for decades."
"This is an important win for the entire broadcasting industry because it recognizes that there are rare instances, particularly during live programming, when it may not be possible to block unfortunate fleeting material, despite best efforts," the network said.
Messages left for an FCC spokesman were not immediately returned.
The Assocaited Press
Source 1, 2.
2 Thumbs Down!
It was announced this morning that Richard Roeper would be leaving his show with Roger Ebert, At the Movie with Ebert & Roeper. Roeper was brought in to co-host with Ebert following Gene Siskel's death after complicaions with a brain tumor in 2000. Two years ago Ebert lost his voice due to medical complications and Roeper has been hosting the show solo with guest hosts. Roeper stated in a press release that Disney tried to extend his contract however no agreement could be met and Richard would be walking away. He also hinted that he plans to host a new show "with the same standards "Siskel & Ebert" has had for 30 years".
The final episode will air in syndication the weekend of August 16/17th.
My only question is, what does that mean for Ebert, who still reviews films for The Chicago Sun-Times?
20080720
The Straight 8
As I have stated unashamedly in previous posts I don't often socialize or befriend my fellow gays but I am never without friends nor have I ever been. So it doesn't take Sidney Sheldon to decipher that I must be friends with a large number of breeders; my best friend is a straight guy.
However this has led to the assumption, albeit by no fault of their own, that I am also secretly an aesthetic wizard who can turn Andy Dick into Chance Crawford with the wave of an H&M gift certificate. I can't even cook spaghetti noodles properly, I have never had a membership at a gym nor do I have any desire to come in and Queer Eye your apartment for you (go to fucking Ikea and hope everything matches; that's what I have to do).
However certain matters of self-hygiene and presentation that I naively assumed were common knowledge apparently didn't come in a manual with the birth of these pussy lovers when they were born. my Mother, on the other hand, gladly read her copy of How To Raise the Perfect Gay Child cover to cover, dog-earring many pages and attacking it with multiple highlighters.
So, in an attempt to pass my wisdom, and perhaps get a few less straight guys asking me beauty tips, I've put together what I like to affectionately refer to as "The Straight 8", eight fundamental and extremely simple steps to self-matinence that apparently too many heterosexual men seem to have no concept or understanding of.
Now, some of you may already do these things (which means you secretly like penis in your mouth) but I digress, I have thought long and hard and while some things I thought were not as important as others I have concluded with these 8 essential steps.
#1 - MOISTURIZE!
Moisturizing is NOT just for women and the secret to any over 40 male movie star that doesn't look over 40 (a la Brad Pitt) is that they moisturize. It seems silly at 20 or 21 but when your about to hit 30 and suddenly realize that your favorite bar is suddenly crawling with a whole new batch of smooth skinned 21 year old men trying to take your honeys (and you foolishly increase your weekly hours at the gym in an attempt to regain some youth and in turn only gain more muscle mass as your head gets smaller and smaller) you'll realize that this fag was on to something. Don't want to look 30 when you are, then everyday apply just a little moisturizer to the face and you're good to go. If you start now and do it regularly the benefit will pay off long after.
NOTE: Finding a good moisturizer for men is hard, I've been searching since I was 16, but I've found it. Go to the Clinique counter at your department store (or get your girlfriend too, chicken shit) and go to the men's section. It's called Clinique Skin Supplies for Men, M LOTION.
#2 - FIND A GOOD HAIRDRESSER AND STICK WITH THEM
The secret to great hair is simple, don't pay less than $10 for a haircut (I don't give a fuck who you are) and don't go to someone different every time. Too many men carelessly get their hair cut at walk-in salons that take 15 minutes to finish and cost even less. Go to an actual hair salon and find a hairdresser you like and then STICK WITH THEM! That's the secret; a long-term relationship with a good, qualified hairdresser will result in a good long-term relationship with a woman (or many one-night stands).
#3- GET OUTTA THAT BED!
Easy on the fake n' bake, boys! What was exclusively gay is now mostly straight as gay men start to realize that skin cancer at 29 doesn't rock and neither does looking orange while straight men, always 10 years behind, think their Fabutan membership is the most cherished thing in their lives next to their precious penis (even I fell victim to this back in high school). BUT STOP! You look stupid, and you'll look like you're 35 at 25. Just wear sunscreen and GET OUTDOORS! The subtle, natural tan of the actual sun will always look nicer than the carrot skin from a tanning bed.
#4- STOP COLOGNE SWIMMING
Too many of you guys think that in order to seduce the ladies for a night on the town or at the clubs is to pour all of your cologne into a small, inflatable swimming pool and take a dip; that's my guess because even I have no idea how some of you achieve being smelt while you're in New Jersey and I am on Long Island. Repeat after me guys; NEVER SPRAY MORE THAN TWO SPRITZ OF YOUR COLOGNE... EVER! This is non-negotiable. Trust us, we can smell you.
#5- USE Q-TIPS
Some of you guys figured this out a long time ago, cause your Mama didn't raise no fool, and neither did mine. But for God's sake use a cotton swab in your ears once and a while.
#6 PUT ON A FUCKING SHIRT
This is an exclusive summer rule but one that so many of you men prey victim too; I'm sure if it's your narcissism or your naivety but nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to see you walk down the street with your fucking shirt off! I don't care how hot it is, if you're not at the beach, a pool, or homeless there is simply no excuse for you to be walking down the street topless, no matter how massive your ridiculous biceps are; we can tell you work out with a tight t-shirt on! (Oh and homos, keep your fucking shirt on at the bar, please!)
#7 LOSE THE BLING IF YOU CAN'T SING
Now I know you motherfuckers love your bling, thanks in part to our society's oversaturation of hip-pop (pop music disguised as hip hop), but if you have more jewellery on than all of the women in the 10 mile radius around you combined you need to take some off. Wow, your earrings are just as sparkly as Diddy's (or as foggy, you cheap wankster) but you also look like a fucking idiot. I'm scared to stand next to you in line because if you suddenly turn around, that piece of shit hanging around your neck, that thing that's so heavy you've developed that appearance of a slight mentally retarded hunchback, is gonna swing around and take my eye out. And bitch, my eye is worth more than your fake bling!
#8 YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE FUNNIER THAN YOUR T-SHIRT
We all know that thanks to those scenester posing motherfuckers at Urban Outfitters t-shirts with photos of Zach Morris or immature puns regarding states in America have become the norm. But because most straight men don't seem to grasp the true concept of irony they think that this trend also translates to t-shirts purchased at places that also sell cigarettes and beer. If your t-shirt says something to the effect "One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!" every woman in her right mind is going to steer clear of your lame ass and try to find the nearest bottle of Cuervo; hopefully they'll hit the floor before you do.
Genius Alert! Genius Alert!
So it looks like the guy who directed Saw 2 - 4 (not even the first one!) apparently has quite a few artistic bones in his body outside of the tired Saw series; in fact, by the looks of the trailer below he's a fucking genius!
I haven't heard a word about this film until this morning; it just premiered in Montreal over the weekend and it star Anthony Stewart Head for goodness sake!
Repo! The Genetic Opera is a rock opera about a distant future where organ failure becomes a widespread epidemic and so a company offers organs but if you miss your paymnts, well the repo man comes. AND IT'S A FUCKING MUSICAL!
Source
I haven't heard a word about this film until this morning; it just premiered in Montreal over the weekend and it star Anthony Stewart Head for goodness sake!
Repo! The Genetic Opera is a rock opera about a distant future where organ failure becomes a widespread epidemic and so a company offers organs but if you miss your paymnts, well the repo man comes. AND IT'S A FUCKING MUSICAL!
Source
'Cos New Britney's On A Mission
Um, I found this to be totally shocking and unexpected. Britney Spears, out at an event (not a club or a restaurant with her Father) and with Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carry! The pair hosted an event for Generation Rescue and Ms. Spears was there, looking delicious, coherent, and sane.
Is it just me or is this the most normal photo Britney Spears has taken in 3 years? I'm completely bewildered that nobody is reporting on this that I've seen.
Is it just me or is this the most normal photo Britney Spears has taken in 3 years? I'm completely bewildered that nobody is reporting on this that I've seen.
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